We are surrounded by people with diverse cultural backgrounds, especially in a cosmopolitan city such as Singapore. Some days back my friend Ali was invited to a Student Exchange Program (SEP) dinner to share his experiences with exchange students. After a formal presentation the gathering divided into smaller groups to carry out their own discussions. Ali’s group comprised mainly of European students. They started having a discussion on relationships. This eventually brought up the subject of marriages and finally arranged marriages. During the conversation a student asked Ali “Is it true that you guys marry your first cousins?” Being a Muslim of South Asian origin, he paused and then answered in the affirmative. This answer proved to be quite shocking for the European student, so he went on to comment, “Isn’t it incest? How can you marry your own sister?” Ali was not expecting such a harsh comment because it is a common practice in our culture. Therefore, the discussion turned into a heated debate with each party making moral allegations on each other’s cultures. Things started to get a little out of hand but the situation was saved by another student who started a discussion on football.
What my friend experienced was a low tolerance of cultural differences. Such situations arise when we fail to understand why people subscribe to different beliefs and practices since thoughts and practices different from our own are alien to us and are treated with disdain. In conclusion, we should first try to figure out the reasons behind cultural differences before making nasty comments about them.
Hi Ali,
ReplyDeleteBeing a muslim myself, I can emphatise with your friend, Ali. There was once when me and my group were having a good time relaxing while talking about almost everything under the sun. Suddenly, it came down to the topic of muslim men being able to marry four wives. The topic got really intense but fortunately, my friends were sensitive enough to avoid voicing any of their discriminating comments about my religion. Hence, we were able to discuss such an interesting topic without infuriating any parties.
On top of that, the fact that we being a group of guys, no offence was taken.
I can empathise with you Ali but it looks like Khair had a slightly different experience. I guess the problems arise because non- Muslims know so little about Muslim cultural practices.
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